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The Rules of Love and Logic

by Jim Fay

Rule #1

1. Adults avoid anger, threats, warnings or lectures.

2. Adults use enforceable statements.

3. Children are offered choices within limits.

4. Limits are maintained with compassion understanding or empathy.

Rule #2

1. In a loving way, the adult holds the child accountable for solving his/her problems in a way that doesn't make problems for others.

2. Children are offered choices within limits.

3. Adults use enforceable statements.

4. Adults probide delayed/extended consequences.

5. The adult's empathy is "locked in" before consequences are delivered.

Maintaining Authority in the Classroom (or at home).

1. I'll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine.

2. I respect you too much to argue.

3. I take quiet classes to recess.

4. I teach when there are no distractions.

5. I grade papers handed in on time.

6. I feel sad for students who aren't prepared with their materials.

7. I listen to people with their hands raised..

Statements That Erode Teacher (Parent) Authority:

1. Talk to me in a polite tone of voice.

2. Be quiet.

3. Hand-in your papers on time.

4. Come to class prepared.

5. Respect each other.

6. Keep your hands to yourself.

7. Raise your hand if you want to talk.

Wise teachers (parents) never tell kids what to do. Instead, they tell them what they will do.